Epilogue
by StrengthLove
Summary: Everyone has their version of what happens after the end FMV of FF7 stops rolling, this is my muses' version. A thought experiment and writing exercise not to be taken too seriously.


Another story I blame entirely on my muses. I couldn't have thought up a plot like   
this on purpose. Everyone has their version of how FF7 ends after the game is over,   
this is my muses' version.   
  
The story takes place in the same Midgard as in "August Rain", "Enclosure" and   
"Homeward Bound" and it has become a recurring location in my stories. It's also   
turned out to have room for a few original stories too. It's grown to feel a lot like a   
home.  
  
All characters property of Square except for Rennes.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
Epilogue  
  
  
  
  
The red and black marble linoleum floor was newly waxed and reflected the light   
from the fluorescent lamps in the ceiling. All sounds were muted. The broad doors at   
the end of the corridor flapped open and closed on well oiled, noiseless hinges. A   
nurse's rubber soled clogs pattered past me, her wide cuffed pants making a dry   
swishing sound with each step. I followed her with my eyes to the doors where she   
exited. The corridor was warm and clean and empty. The visitors' chairs were red,   
soft and slanting too much to be comfortable to sit in for a long time. I idly rose,   
walked to the window and stretched. Down there the city lay glittering in the   
darkness while rain pelted the windows and the cold wind shook the naked branches   
of the trees.   
  
The company and the city were recovering from two days of confusion and agony,   
during which there had been numerous pile ups when unexpected and invasive   
hallucinations swept over drivers on the motor way, as well as several serious   
accidents when people fled in mindless panic to escape the nightmare that was   
surrounding them and from which it was only possible to escape by the most   
determined of will.   
  
The hallucination, the invasive dream, had been his and his alone, but somehow parts   
of it had been shared by the inhabitants of this city and the planet as a whole, in its   
entirety by those in the company whom he knew and were most receptive to the   
dream, only the dramatic ending had been seen by the general population. It still   
puzzled me how something like that had come to pass, how it was possible for one   
man to enter the minds of millions, but it wasn't fruitful to ponder too deeply on it,   
the questions would only remain unanswered, so I wearily shut down that train of   
thought. Two days of confusion and anguish had gotten the best of me and I was still   
slightly woozy from the experience. I stretched again and sent a prayer planetward   
that he would come out of this intact. I returned to the badly slanting chair and sat   
down, trying to find a way to escape the doubt and concern I was feeling.  
  
The doors at the end of the corridor opened and Dr. Hojo approached me with a   
serious look on his face.  
"Are you all right, sir?" I asked and rose to greet him.  
"Yes, thank you, Zack, I'm doing fine now. A few days of sleep and I feel   
pretty much restored."  
"Good," I said and continued on to the next pressing question. "How is he   
doing?"  
"I actually don't know," Dr. Hojo said, pushing his glasses back onto his   
nose. "They company considered it best I wasn't the doctor in charge for his   
treatment and I agree with that. I also needed a few days on my own to calm down   
from the… ordeal such as it were."  
"I don't blame you," I said. "I think we all did. I thought that that damn   
meteor was real for a while."   
"What happened out there?" he asked, looking curiously up at me.  
  
"We went to Nibelheim," I began, "just him and me, an easy mission, we   
were just going look around, find the reason for the reactor malfunction which the   
sensors had given a fairly good report of, it was just a question of getting there,   
confirm what the sensors said and repair the malfunction manually if within our   
abilities. If not that particular line would be shut down by area control and a full   
engineer team would be sent in later. It was just a chance to get away for a little   
while, to get some fresh air." Dr. Hojo made a smile, and pushed at his glasses again.   
"Couldn't we all?" he asked but the motioned for me to go on.  
"We went up to the reactor on the first day, it had been overhauled four   
years ago and automated back then so everything looked spiffy inside, neat and   
clean. Some of the old reactor chambers were still there and had never been cleaned   
out, but they were empty. The reactor's old name was still sitting above the door,   
"Genoa", from architect Lu's love of classical art. That name must have set off   
Sephiroth's imagination something horrendously."  
"Yes it must," Dr. Hojo said sympathetically.  
"Anyway, we found the malfunction, just a small F-99 valve that had rusted   
stuck and needed replacement. When we tried to turn the valve, it closed as it should,   
but we decided to put in a new since it had rusted and the inner teeth were most   
certainly damaged. When we were removing the old valve, a part of the collar   
ruptured and the pipe blew a lot of sublimated Mako right in our faces. We got the   
new valve in quickly, but Seph said he wasn't feeling well from the gas so we   
finished up quickly and went back down to the village. It was a fairly short walk as   
well, the entire job was done in less than four hours… there were no caves up   
there...."  
"Then what happened?" Dr. Hojo asked.   
  
"We had dinner at the inn and then went up to our room. Seph still wasn't   
feeling well, so he went to bed. I went outside to take some pictures and just poke   
around the village. I was thinking of returning when the snow came since they had   
developed slopes nearby so I wanted to see more of the place. Then the nightmare   
started up, I somehow managed to get back to the inn but the dream overtook me in   
the foyer and I was somehow pulled completely into it. Well, you know what I   
mean." I saw it in Dr. Hojo's eyes that he knew what I meant, and that he had seen   
the contents of Sephiroth's dream as well, I didn't have to go into more detail.  
  
"When it was over, I woke in the most disgusting mess I've been in since my days in   
boot camp when unwinding meant drinking as much as you could and then hurling it   
back up again with about equal speed. I stunk and the room was going round and   
round. I feared the dream would start up again, the way it seemed to get stuck at   
certain places and repeat itself, but I forced myself to remain awake and managed to   
get up to our room. When I saw he wasn't there, I somehow got the jacket on and   
went to the places he had dreamed about, first to the gates of the old house, but the   
gates were chained shut and most of the house had burned down years ago in a fire.   
Only the entrance was left. I didn't bother to try and get inside. People in the village   
had been hard hit by the dream too, not many had managed to get out of it and some   
people were lying in the streets while others ran around shrieking "Meteor is coming!   
Meteor is coming!" I helped get some people inside and then went up to the reactor   
hoping Sephiroth would be there.   
  
He had cut some of the insulation and crane legs up but had miraculously not opened   
up another gas leak. I found him in the derelict control room, clutching an old   
monitor he had ripped out of the wall… I think that was supposed to be his "Jenova".   
I immediately called Carl and he said we'd be picked up as soon as they could find   
someone who wasn't confused and who could fly the helicopter. It only took an hour   
and a half, fortunately. I spent that time doing some first aid and trying to get him out   
of the hallucinations he was having." Dr. Hojo nodded.   
"The city was in panic for a while, many people were convinced the meteor   
or whatever it was indeed was coming, and there were several accidents out on the   
ring way when people tried to flee and then panicking in the traffic corks that ensued.   
Other people went amok and began looting downtown. The armed forces and police   
had more than their share of work to try and calm people down and convince   
everyone that they had just taken part of the world's first mass hallucination."  
  
"So the panic was widespread here as well?" I asked. "I… I'm kind of glad I   
wasn't here when it happened."  
"Yes, there was much panic for a while, but the hallucinations ceased   
relatively quickly and when the news spread that that was what they had been, the   
majority of people believed it and returned home. I don't think people wanted to   
believe that a meteor was about to hit the planet and that's why the hallucinations   
ceased so quickly. The delirium must have been much stronger where you were, so   
close to their point of origin. " I shook my head.  
"It's… it's amazing…," I said. "How is it possible to create something like   
that? A dream which can be seen by other people and seems so real?" Dr. Hojo   
looked at me.  
"Not a dream," he stated matter of factly, "but a psychosis, a twisted image   
of reality created by the patient and conforming to his or her perception of reality as   
it looks from their point of view. Some say it's a way for the patient to release past   
issues and emotional stress associated with these so that he can realign himself with   
external reality again." Hojo sighed. "When created by a telepath, the hallucinations   
may spread to others and as we have seen, when the telepath is strong enough, they   
can overtake entire populations."   
"I see," I said and thanked him for the explanation.  
  
Dr. Hojo wanted to talk with the medical staff treating Sephiroth and continued   
further down the corridor. Not feeling like another dose of medicalese and more   
uncertain predictions, I sat down in the chair and sank into my own thoughts. Some   
of the remnants of the dream still seemed real and I worked over them to try and   
banish them from my mind.  
  
I was called back to reality by a low voice.  
"Would you like a cup of coffee?" I looked up and saw Shera holding two   
paper cups from which hot vapor curled upwards.  
"That sounds lovely, thank you!" I said and smiled at her. She put the coffee   
on the table in front of us and sat down in the chair opposite mine.  
  
"You look tired," she said. "You should get some rest."  
"I guess I should," I said, "but I keep thinking he might wake up and I'd like   
to be there then." Shera took my hand.  
"We'll call you right away if that happens." I nodded at her.  
"Thanks." She took her cup and sipped at it. I did the same, enjoying the   
company of a long time friend.  
  
"You know, I can't help smile over some of his ideas about people," Shera   
said in her familiar thoughtful way, indicating the dream that had swallowed us all   
for a while. "I'm certainly not as self effacing as he made me out to be. And I'm sure   
as hell no rocket scientist. I wonder where he got that from." She smiled at me. I   
laughed. It felt good to laugh about the dream which I couldn't help but take deeply   
serious. Typical of Shera to find something humorous in even a night mare.  
  
"Who was this Cid Highwind anyway?" I asked, curiosity piqued,   
wondering if she'd be offended for me asking. Shera took another sip of her cup   
before replying.  
"He was a pilot with the company, a good one and he was supposed to be   
going into space before the program was put on ice. Seph was right about that." She   
gave me a crooked smile. "We even dated for a while and Sephiroth disliked him,   
saying he was discourteous and untrustworthy. This was before your time in the   
echelon." She shook her head. "Cid really must have gotten up his nose." She   
laughed again. "I don't think I would ever marry a man who ordered his guests to   
"drink their goddamned tea", even if I've been tempted to say that a few times   
myself." I laughed. Shera was right. The loud pilot had been really over the top, and   
one of the things that had convinced me that the visions I had seen had been   
caricatures instead of faithful representations and allowed me to work my way out of   
them.  
  
"I wonder what he's going to say when he realizes that we've all seen his   
dream and know what he thinks about us," I said. Shera laughed, but then she took   
my hand.  
"The dream showed what he thought about us then and there," she said. "A   
psychosis is just that, a dream reflecting the inner landscape of the illness, at that   
moment. And that was partly brought on by the large dose of Mako he inhaled. I'm   
sure he sees us quite differently in our everyday life. Don't worry." I looked down.  
"I just wonder where he got that from, those confinement chambers up in the   
reactor and that thing… Jenova. It seemed so real. When I ran up to the reactor, I was   
half expecting to find it there, and him holding its head. When I saw he was holding   
something, the first thing I thought was "it was real" and almost panicked, but then I   
saw it was just an old monitor cracked down the front. That was… her head. That   
was all she was, an old piece of machinery no one had any use for any more." Shera   
looked at me.  
"It was just a dream, it wasn't real." I squeezed her hand, it felt good to   
hold.  
  
"I don't know," I said. "It just makes me sad to think about it. For the last   
two days I've kept wondering if that was how he sees us and himself and why the   
hell he never said anything to me, if he felt bad and had problems. Instead of blowing   
like that, why he didn't trust me more to open up a little…"  
"Sometimes it's not easy for people to open up," Shera said. "Even to   
friends. I also think that the Mako must have made him hallucinate earlier as well. A   
serious psychosis like that just doesn't appear out of nowhere, they start small and   
the natural thing to do is to keep shut about them, or else people are going to think   
you've gone off the deep end, but then it grows." I nodded.  
"I guess he must have. I didn't see it and no one else did. I just keep   
wondering if there was something we could have done to prevent it from happening."  
"Please don't blame yourself," Shera said. "It's not going to make anything   
better. You got him out of there when we were all reeling from the aftermath of his   
"Meteor" and running around in our underwear thinking the world was going to end.   
You helped him when it really counted and got him back the city." I squeezed her   
hand and then hugged her over the table.  
"Thanks, Shera," I said with shaking voice. "I'm glad you're here." Shera   
patted my back and held me for a while. Then she stood.  
"I'd better get back in before Dr. Gast starts wondering where I am. Go   
home and get some rest. I'll call you as soon as something happens."  
"What does he look like?" I hurriedly asked, wanting her to stay longer.  
"Not too bad, like he's asleep. Once the dehydration and hypothermia was   
treated, his blood pressure and heart rate stabilized. It's just that he doesn't seem to   
come to, like he's in deep sleep. It's not coma, his reflexes are normal and he's   
breathing. The EEG shows deep theta waves, like he's in deep sleep and it doesn't   
change. Dr. Gast says he's never seen anything like it. But then again, you guys   
aren't ordinary patients either. Sheesh, never mess around with telepaths, you never   
know what they're going to think." I grinned of her little joke and let her go. As she   
walked down the hall I heard her mutter "sit down and drink your goddamned tea!"   
and chuckle to herself.  
  
  
I rose and walked slowly through the doors and to the outer corridor, checking that   
my phone was on and able to receive messages, then called on the elevator and   
stepped inside. At the 63rd floor, the elevator stopped and admitted Rufus,   
surprisingly not accompanied with any of his usual security men.  
"Hi Zack," he greeted and threw a grey scarf around his neck. "Cold night   
tonight, I bet we're gonna have snow soon."  
"Where are you on your way to?" I asked, taking in his tailor made coat and   
expensive looking shoes.   
"Dinner and maybe a little round in town afterwards," he grinned. I nodded   
and grinned back. "By the way, have you had dinner yet?" he suddenly asked.   
"Wanna go with me down to the White Hart? I'm sick and tired of the staff   
restaurant, I think I know every meal they have by heart." Rufus tucked some of his   
long bangs behind one ear and looked at me, curiosity twinkling in his eyes. I shrank   
inside, he was curious and wanted answers to the questions I didn't have any answer   
to myself. But I had something to ask him about, so I set aside my discomfort and   
said:  
"Sure. Is it ok if I keep the bike on the fourth floor in the garage till   
tomorrow? I don't think I want to drive it home after dinner." Rufus nodded.  
"No problem. If the guard gives you a ticket, just tell him to call me and I'll   
talk with him. I think it's insane the way we have to pay for our own employee   
parking, but that's board decisions for you." He grinned ruefully at me. "That's one   
thing I would have done something about… if I could." His eyes glittered with   
humor, but when he saw my serious face, he courteously looked away and out the   
window instead. The elevator fell down through the darkness. The city glittered like a   
jewel beneath us.  
"It sure looks beautiful, doesn't it?" he asked and nodded towards the   
window.   
"It certainly does," I said.   
"If something or someone threatened this city," he said, "I don't know what   
I would do, I'd go crazy. I'd protect it with everything I had, even if I had to put   
myself on the line for it. It's my city, nobody's gonna touch it, ever. Sephiroth was   
right about that." He smiled at me and shook some hair out of his eyes. Something in   
the tone of his voice, the self deprecating humor detectable beneath his passionate   
words, made me laugh, the way Shera had. We continued down into the night.  
  
Rufus navigated his black Mercedes expertly through the streets and took the south   
tunnel across the river and up on the other side to the city's lake side drive and   
recreational district. He rolled the car up in front of the White Hart, the company's   
down town restaurant, stepped outside and nonchalantly threw the keys to the valet.   
He walked in front of me through brass decorated doors, nodding at a group of   
people who were on their way out. I didn't recognize any of their faces.  
  
Inside, the maitre d', a tall sturdy man dressed in immaculate black and white, met   
us.  
"Where would the gentlemen like to sit?" he asked and gave me an extra   
glance but said nothing.  
"The usual table, Barret," Rufus said and made his way through the quiet   
restaurant interior before the maitre d' to a seat by the window overlooking the lake.   
The maitre d' and I followed him as best we could.   
"The waiter will be with you shortly," Barret said and bowed, before   
disappearing.   
  
We ordered our meals, Rufus asked for veal in red wine sauce with lemon glazed   
vegetables and a beaujolais, I asked for steamed fillet of cod with thick butter sauce,   
potatoes fried in honey and sage and a simple but good white wine from the south I   
remembered from home. When our meals arrived, we ate slowly and silently,   
savoring the heat and the flavor of the food and wine, the view across the lake, the   
sound of muted conversation and silverware against china that hung in the room.  
  
When he had started on dessert, black currant sorbet on spatters of a dark chocolate   
sauce distributed artfully on the over sized plates and covered with a thin layer of   
powdered sugar, no doubt meant to resemble snow, Rufus looked pointedly at me.  
"I assume you realize I had something to ask you over dinner?" he politely   
began. I nodded.  
"Yeah I did," I said. "I wouldn't have come along if I didn't feel like   
talking." He smiled a little, then grew serious.  
"I'm curious," he said, "and also a bit distraught. Mmm… I don't know you   
that well, but I hope you can be honest with me. I just wanted to ask, since you were   
in the same unit for a long time and knew Sephiroth well… and saw everything:   
Have you been unhappy while you've been with the company? I mean… really   
discontent?" I looked at him for a short while, not knowing what to say. Rufus met   
my eyes and quickly said: "You don't have to answer that, it was forward of me, I   
know. I am your employer after all." I shook my head.  
"No, it's not that." I said. "I've been content with my position with the   
company. I knew what I went to or at least had some idea of what it would entail. I   
wanted to since I was a teenager. I'm proud of what we accomplished, even if it   
meant taking monopoly on Wutai. I can't say that I regret anything." Rufus looked at   
me piercingly, wondering if I was lying. "I mean it," I reassured him. He sat back   
and smiled reflexively.  
"Sorry," he said. "I find it hard to deal with telepaths at times. It's so   
unnerving knowing you can read my thoughts and I can't know what the hell goes on   
behind your eyes unless I ask. And then getting everything dumped all over me like   
what happened last week. That was a shock… I mean, I thought I was honest and   
straightforward but… ahh I couldn't measure up to the commander even if I tried,"   
he joked. He shook his head and looked out over the lake. I smiled.  
"I understand what you mean," I said. "I think we're all a bit unsettled over   
Sephiroth's portrayals of us. He got sick but still, one can't help wonder if there was   
a bit of truth in his views of us. I for one feel pretty guilty." Rufus was easy to talk to   
and the straightforwardness he had alluded to earlier was the reason for that, even if   
he could be too direct at times. Rufus nodded and made a "well it can't be helped"   
face. We ate some more, letting the sweet tastes of the dessert fill our palates and   
senses.  
  
"I got something to ask too," I finally said.   
"Shoot."   
"What will happen with the SOLDIER program now?" I asked, finally   
giving vent to one of the questions that had been bothering me the most since   
returning to the city. Rufus sighed and put his fork down on the plate.  
"The board will have to decide of course," he began. "But along with Drs.   
Gast and Hojo I will recommend that it's discontinued and that Mako treatments are   
prohibited for the future. I don't think the board will make a strong opposition. The   
wars are over, we can defend ourselves if need be with the weapon systems we have,   
heck I even like to think we could have won the war without SOLDIER, but that's   
me. To tell you the truth, I always questioned the strategic importance of ESP'ers,   
but it was dad's, Dr. Gast's and Hojo's crown idea and they put such an amount of   
money and sheer man hours into the research, ever since they found the first   
Lifestream sources, it was impossible to stop once it had started. The research   
program grew into an obsession for dad, and I suspect, for Gast and Hojo as well. It   
was something to prove, and in the final instance, to develop. One may say what one   
wishes about the ethical considerations but the fact is that it was done and done well.   
It worked, what was initially a very basic idea turned into a reality and one that was   
fully applicable and proved its worth in the real world." I nodded. I couldn't agree   
more. The technology that had created the SOLDIER units had been superior and   
unique to anything else invented on the planet, one reason why the echelon had   
defeated all of Shinra's opponents in the war. Rufus made a little shrug and took a sip   
of his coffee. "The SOLDIERs won't be incorporated into the armed forces though,   
there are new techniques to develop small scale fighting units and security measures.   
Scarlett has been talking a lot about certain small unit military techniques used by   
some Wutai families during the war and what she says sounds interesting. Don't   
know if it's something to found a special force on, but I think I'll recommend that we   
keep a special force for now and see what pops up from the weapons and tactical   
research department. They're bound to come up with something."  
  
I nodded. I had gotten my answer, that was what I had assumed would happen. I   
leaned back in my chair and glanced out over the dark lake and the high rise   
buildings on the other shore. In the distance behind them, the familiar shape of   
Shinra Tower, our work place, could be seen.  
  
"And what do you intend to do with Seph?" I asked, "When he comes to."   
Not if, when. Rufus sighed again and put the thumbs in the pockets of his waistcoat.  
"I honestly don't know," he said and evaded my eyes. "I talked with Dr.   
Gast this morning and he said it's anybody' guess what shape Seph will be in when   
he wakes up. Personally, I just hope there won't be a repetition of what happened;   
that he's still stuck inside that dream or whatever it is. If so I really don't know." I   
felt my stomach flip flop a couple of times, Rufus was saying exactly what I didn't   
want to hear. I didn't want to think about what happened if Seph somehow hadn't   
come out of his psychosis when he woke up.   
"What if he can't do what he did again, but he's still insane?" I asked,   
distraught. "Or what if he stays like he is now for years." Rufus made a face.  
"The latter would perhaps be the best," he said, and quickly added. "If he is   
insane and for now we must assume he is. If he doesn't wake up, we'll keep him on   
the hospital floor of course, take care of him there. Maybe put him in suspended   
animation if there is no change in status after a few years. But don't worry, we won't   
abandon him. Not like he thought we'd do anyhow." He massaged the bridge of his   
nose. "I honestly have a hard time grasping what happened and what enabled him do   
what he did. I just know I don't want a repetition of it." He looked at me. "So there   
you got it," he said. "Man to man." I nodded.  
"I understand," I said. "I've been thinking the same. It looks as if he'll   
remain how he is and that'd be preferable to some other alternatives." Rufus nodded.  
  
"You were with him when it happened, weren't you?" he asked. "Do you   
understand what happened?" I shook my head.  
"He accidentally inhaled a large dose of Mako, but that was just the trigger,   
not the reason for what happened in the first place. I think the breakdown was a long   
time in coming, and if it hadn't happened now it would have taken place later."   
Rufus nodded.  
"I guess we were lucky after all, it could have been worse, if it had   
happened inside the city…" I nodded. We had been lucky, I thought, but he hadn't.  
  
Rufus held up his hand in protest when I reached for my wallet to pay for my half of   
the meal.  
"Let your employer buy you dinner for once," he said and grinned. I laughed   
and relented, relieved to have had the conversation with him and surprised of his   
friendliness. As we passed the maitre d' by the entrance and headed for the coatroom,   
Rufus asked me:  
"I recognized most of the people in Seph's dream, Barret, Shera, Tifa, you,   
dad, but not the blond guy with the funny looking hair. Who was he?"  
"Cloud Strife?" I asked.   
"Yeah."  
"He was a member of one of the first teams Seph commanded in battle. I   
think they were about the same age, at the very start of the war. He was killed and I   
think he expressly blamed Seph for it before he died, Seph never told me any details.   
I think the Cloud Strife in the dream was Seph's guilt for commanding the battles and   
not being able to prevent the death of other soldiers and it turned into some kind of   
revenge fantasy against the company… and himself, I guess." Rufus nodded.  
"That makes sense," he said.  
"Yeah." Rufus didn't say anything more, but swung his elegant wool coat   
on. I put on my grey and blue issue jacket and followed him as he exited the   
restaurant.  
  
On the pavement, four coat wearing security officers accosted Rufus, laughing and   
grinning. They greeted me as well and challenged us to come along with them on a   
tequila night. Rufus snickered and said:  
"My pleasure, I was hoping to run into you tonight to see what you were up   
to."  
"You're welcome to come along too," the female member of the group said   
and beamed up at me. "The planet knows we have a reason to paartyyy tonight!"  
"This and every coming night, Elena!" a red haired guy chimed in. They   
pulled Rufus and me along with them in the evening crowd, barely giving Rufus time   
to tell the White Hart valet he'd pick up the car the next morning. Rufus was   
obviously happy to see his friends and get out of my gloomy company and it was   
good to see their smiles and hear their laughter. Life went on. I put my hands in my   
pockets and followed the little group. I decided to go with them to the bar they were   
headed for and hail a cab from there.   
  
The red haired guy broke away from the main group and waited for me, obviously   
interested in talking. I tried to recall his name from Seph's dream, what was it,   
something with an r… oh yeah, Reno. Reno held out packet of cigarettes to me.  
"No thanks," I said. "I don't smoke." He grinned at me.  
"Neither do I," he said, "I quit, but that Meteor thing made me so nervous   
I've started again." I grinned back at him. He fished a cigarette out of the packet,   
stuck it between his lips and lit it with a white lighter, while trying to keep the flame   
from blowing out with his hands. I recognized the lighter as SOLDIER issue, but   
couldn't remember having seen him in any other capacity as security officer.   
  
"How is Sephiroth doing?" he asked and blew some smoke out of his   
nostrils. "I hear they brought him back from the mountains." I nodded.  
"He's alive, but in some kind of sleep, from which he can't be woken up," I   
said. "At least not now. He's on the hospital floor at Shinra's." Reno gave me a quick   
glance before looking away.   
"I see." We walked for some time before he spoke again. "I'm sure he'll   
come to, sooner or later," he said, sounding genuinely hopeful. He turned to me. "If   
he wakes up, do you think you can say hello from Reno, and wish him well?" I   
nodded.  
"Sure, I'll do that. But can't you see him yourself? If you're worried about   
access to the floor I can ask Dr. Hojo for it." Reno pulled his long, screamingly red   
ponytail out from behind his collar.   
"I don't think Seph would want to see me," he said. I sensed there was   
something he didn't want to tell me, so I left it at that.  
"I'll bring him your greetings," I said.  
"Thanks."  
  
When we reached the thronged entrance of the bar, a white painted former boat house   
with a wide terrace facing the lake, the terrace filled with parasol stands and stacks of   
white plastic chairs waiting for warmer seasons, I bade the others good night and   
quickly hailed a taxi to get home.  
  
The next morning I returned to the hospital to see Sephiroth. I called Shera on the   
way up and she greeted me at the elevator when the doors slid open.  
"How are you doing?" she asked. "Got any sleep last night?"  
"A little," I said and didn't feel like saying anything more. She cast a   
sideways glance at me but didn't continue the topic.  
"I'm sorry," I said. "How are you? You must have been working hard these   
last days." She smiled and took my hand.  
"I'm doing fine, don't worry. I'm a big girl, I can take care of myself. "  
  
She led me to the end of the hallway, then through two sets of doors and into a   
windowless room filled with monitors and consoles on racks surrounding a wide   
hospital bed.   
  
I walked forward and looked down at Sephiroth. He was surrounded by wires and   
sensors stuck to his chest, forehead, wrists and neck. Monitors beeped and blipped   
and I didn't know what was which. The only thing I recognized from my medic   
classes was the transparent coil of medical tubing going from a bottle of saline   
solution and curling into his left arm. His face looked healthy and was without the   
slack paleness of coma or death, he looked as if he simply were asleep. I half   
expected him to make a sigh and turn over in his sleep as I had seen so many times   
when we shared sleeping quarters. But nothing happened, he remained still and the   
heart sensor beeped and beeped.   
  
I touched his hand, it felt cold, despite the heat in the room.   
"He's cold," I said. Shera nodded. "I'm afraid his body temperature is pretty   
low. But it's not really a problem, it's stable.  
"OK," I said feeling dumb and not knowing what to say. Shera gently   
squeezed my shoulder. "He looks like he's asleep," I said. "I keep expecting that   
he'll wake up every minute. It's eerie."  
"I know," she replied. "Technically he is asleep, he just remains there." We   
stood in silence.  
  
"Can you read his mind?" Shera finally asked. "Is he dreaming?"  
"No," I said, relieved not to feel the nightmarish chaos of his mind I had   
seen in Nibelheim. "It's quiet, he isn't dreaming, he's deeply asleep."  
"Can you see anything?" I looked deeper.  
"Just some residue from the dream," I said, "the sensation of giving in, of   
creating a finality." I looked down. Shera put a hand on my shoulder.  
"I'm sorry," she said.  
"Sorry about what?" I asked irritated. "He isn't dead yet!" I looked down   
again. "…he just… thinks so." I sighed. "Sorry Shera." She squeezed my shoulder   
again.  
"It's OK."   
  
"I'm sorry, Seph," I said and put a hand on his forehead. It was as cold as   
his hand. I hoped to see his eyes move in sleep behind his eyelids, but saw nothing,   
just stillness. I watched him for a while, then straightened my back. There wasn't any   
point in staying, he couldn't hear me, there wasn't anything I could do for him. I   
would be called if there was any change in his condition. I thanked Shera and bid her   
goodbye, then hurried out into the long corridor and out the swinging doors.   
  
Sephiroth remained in his dreamless sleep, hidden from the world and himself. I took   
a week off from work, doing a little hiding myself. I would have liked to say that I   
was a loyal son and brother and went home to visit my family in the south and   
comforted them after the panic that had spread even there, but the thought of   
speaking to anyone and the keeping up a face of coping seemed more odious and   
tiring than remaining where I was. In addition I had no desire to go to a place an   
entire day's flight away from the city in case there was a change in status and I had to   
return in a hurry.   
  
Instead I spent the time moping about in the apartment I had acquired only six   
months earlier when I had finally tired of living in the barracks and decided   
commuting for forty minutes through relentless exhaust fumes on the city's ring way   
wasn't a too high price to pay to be able to live away from work and have more   
private life. I now took advantage of that privilege to the fullest, slept later than I had   
done even in my teens, did nothing, watched a lot of tv, listened to a lot of music,   
played some video games, drove for hours around town on my bike, not caring where   
the day took me. I even met Rufus and his friends once and bar hopped along the   
lakeside watering holes till the blue light of dawn shone over the high rise buildings   
and we were most definitely completely sloshed. Then there were the usual two days   
in bed nursing an unforgiving hang over but cheerfully accepting that as part of the   
moping routine.  
  
I had set my little holiday on a week and when the week was over, I didn't feel like   
vacationing anymore, at least not at home. On Monday morning I got up as usual,   
showered, shaved, dressed, grabbed a bread roll on my way out the door and drove   
the forty minutes through the clogged up motor way to work.  
  
At the reception desk, Tifa rose to greet me, wearing the usual company uniform   
consisting of a red skirt and jacket in fine doe wool over a white high collared shirt,   
her long hazel hair shining under the bright overhead lights. She threw some long   
dark brown strands behind her shoulder and smiled up at me.  
"Welcome back, Zack. Have you had a good holiday?" I smiled at her.  
"You bet." I leaned forward to whisper conspiratorially in her ear. "If you   
can keep a secret, I can tell you our boss is a hard drinker." She giggled.  
"How do you know?"  
"I met him and his buddies on lakeside on Friday."  
"Really?" Hazel eyes narrowed in a smile and she leaned closer. I inhaled   
the spicy scent of her perfume. "That sounds like a lot of fun."  
"Yeah, it was. If you give me your number, I'll call you next time so you   
can come with us." She smiled sardonically.  
"Oh really? Can my fiancee come too?"  
"Of course not," I said. "He's too ugly." She laughed and gave my shoulder   
a little slap. We laughed.  
  
Tifa grew quiet and took a small stack of papers in her hands and collected them   
together in a hesitant gesture.  
"Zack…" she began and gave me a sympathetic glance. "I think it's better   
you hear this from me than anybody else. Commander Reid says Sephiroth's room   
needs to be cleaned out, to house another officer."  
"What?"  
"I'm sorry."  
"But he's not dead!" I said, feeling myself growing angry. "That damn Reid!   
If Seph had been here he would have let him know where he could stick his…." Tifa   
looked down.  
"But he's not, Zack." I looked at her. "It's been almost three weeks," Tifa   
said. "The company has had a press conference stating that he's in a coma and won't   
be returning to SOLDIER." I lowered my head in sadness.  
"He's not dead, dammit!" I slammed my hand down on the desk and looked   
away from her, short of breath. She gently touched my hand. I looked at her,   
swallowing the lump in my throat. "Thanks for telling me Tifa," I finally managed.   
"You're right. I'd prefer to hear that from you than anyone else. I… I'll clean out his   
room, then I'll start cleaning out my office too." Tifa looked down.  
"I was afraid you'd say that," she said.  
"I don't feel like staying the way things are now," I said. She looked down.  
"I understand." Tears stood in her eyes. "I'm gonna miss you Zack." I put   
my arms around her.  
"I'm gonna miss you too."  
  
  
The job was quickly done, Tifa and Rennes provided packing crates, replete with the   
company logo on them. In the dream Sephiroth had clearly expressed that he felt   
owned by the company. Going through his personal belongings, I couldn't help but   
agree with that view. Over half of his books and clothes bore the company logo. I   
was surprised to see how little personal items there were and most prominent of all,   
the lack of family photographs and similar mementos, which most people brought to   
the barracks as memories of home.   
  
"You really meant it when you said you had no family," I thought. Still, there was a   
small album of personal photographs, pictures of officers and soldiers, some of   
whom I recognized, some of whom were complete strangers, taken in the field during   
the war, everyone smiling despite the dramatic and exhausting circumstances, certain   
of victory. There were some pictures apparently shot on a southern island, the colors   
of the instant development photographs had yellowed and darkened over time and   
showed palm trees swaying in the wind, long stretches of white beach, mighty swells   
of turquoise ocean and endless blue sky. One instant photograph showed him   
squatting on a southern beach next to a giant tortoise, of the kind that was rarely seen   
any more, its back as wide as a man is tall. He was examining the stranded animal's   
flipper and being unaware of the camera, his arms and shoulders in a relaxed,   
peaceful looking pose. I put the image in my back pocket, thinking I'd give it back to   
him later. At the bottom of the top drawer in his desk were a few white seashells and   
a small blue orb of polished crystal apparently bought in the south as well.   
  
I put everything I recognized as issue clothing and equipment in one box, then all   
books bearing the company logo on the inner jacket in the second box. What was   
apparently private I put in the third box; mostly books, the photo album, some old   
magazines, some more loose photographs lying about, two dozen or so music CDs, a   
small jar of herbal ointment that alleviated sore muscles and a dried sea horse, it's   
shrunken body covered in dust and having lost all color on one side due to having   
been forgotten behind some books in the bookshelf and faded by the sun from the   
window. I put everything in the box and closed the lid. Then I went into the   
bathroom, brought with me the bin from his office and threw everything I found that   
was not clothing or belonged to the company into it.   
  
After lunch I cleaned out his office, it was an even easier job than cleaning out his   
room, everything was neatly ordered and filed in boxes and books and were to   
remain for the officer taking over his position. All I had to do was make sure that all   
personal belongings were removed, which was easy since there weren't many of   
them. I went through the computer and back up'ed everything of a personal nature I   
could find, a row of music files, a screen saver, some scanned images, the personal   
mails I found in his inbox; a message from me asking about the number of the valve   
to bring to Nibelheim, something which looked to be an "in the middle of an   
argument" mail from Dr. Hojo, some mail from a journalist and one from Rennes   
wishing him a good trip to Nibelheim and put them on a mag disk to take with me.   
Then I deleted all of it, everything I could find that wasn't work. When that had been   
done, it felt like a weight lifted from my chest. At least all of his personal belongings   
had been taken care of.  
  
When I returned to his room to look over the empty shelves one more time, Tifa and   
Rennes came to tell me something.   
"I just called Rufus," Tifa said and leaned against the door frame, "and it   
turns out old dad gave Masamune to Seph, so it counts as his personal belongings,   
not SOLDIER's."  
"That must have been in a fit of uncontrolled generosity," Rennes   
commented. "Old dad Shinra never gave anything away." Tifa chuckled.   
"Anyway," Tifa said, "Rufus also opened the… testament files…" She   
swallowed and handed me the long sword, now wrapped in black silk, with both   
hands. "Seph wanted you to have it. It's yours." I looked at her, then down at the slim   
weapon covered by soft fabric, unable to say anything. I blinked some tears away.  
"Thanks," I whispered, feeling stunned. Rennes put her arms around me and   
gave me a long hug.  
  
"Was there any more information in the files?" I asked, wiping tears from   
my eyes, thinking that I should update my own testament files before I left and copy   
them on my own hard drive. Tifa shook her head.  
"Just a note saying: "Thank you for cleaning out my things." I made a laugh   
against my will and felt hot tears drip down onto my hands. I had to take a moment to   
compose myself and was glad there were only the girls present.  
  
"That's it then?" Tifa asked and looked at the three large boxes and the half   
full trash bin that stood in the middle of the floor. I nodded.  
"Those two boxes are company belongings, clothes and equipment in one   
box and books in the other, they're marked as such, and these are personal   
belongings."  
"I'll take care of the SOLDIER stuff," Tifa said. "What about the personal   
belongings?" I shook my head.  
"I can't let them be thrown away," I said. "I know it may not happen any   
time soon, but I imagine that he'll wake up eventually and want his things back. I'll   
take the box with me when I leave, store it at my place. Thanks a lot for the help and   
thanks for asking Rufus to check the testament files. I'll update mine shortly. I see   
how important they are now." Rennes clasped my shoulder.  
"I will be doing the same," she said. "Then I will clean out my room as   
well."  
"You're quitting too?" I asked, incredulous. She nodded.  
"When I talked with Rufus, he dropped some hints that the unit is to   
undergo some real changes. At any rate SOLDIER will never be the same. I may   
remain with the company but not in the echelon. It's also time I got my own place,   
"moved out from mom and dad's", she said, using the term for moving off the   
company park that was common among the employees.  
"There's an empty apartment in my building," I said and smiled at her. "We   
could be neighbors, run around in the hallways and sneak into each other's room at   
night." Rennes snorted and laughed.  
"We tried that, remember, and it didn't work." I grinned and admitted she   
was right.  
"Let me know when you're moving. I'll help you out, then you can cook   
dinner for me," I added.  
"Oh stop it!" Rennes said and laughed. "The only reason I'd have your   
butter fingered self help me pack was so that you could make me dinner afterwards."  
"Is that all I am to you?" I asked in mock offense, "a live in chef? A piece of   
cooking meat? But I don't blame you, it will get very boring to live on field rations   
alone when you have to cook for yourself in the weekends."  
"Tsssss," Rennes said and gave my shin a little kick.   
  
  
We took a box each and carried it out to the reception desk from where the boxes   
would be delivered to the library and supply officer. I asked Tifa to be allowed to   
delay cleaning out my room till the following day and she graciously agreed. I looked   
at the box I was to bring with me home and slightly dreaded the task, but there was   
no turning back now. I aimed to catch the next coach to the central train station in   
town and take a local train home from there. The next coach would leave the   
barracks in ten minutes so I had some time to kill before I ventured back out into the   
rain.   
  
  
"So what about you?" Tifa asked "You won't ask for a transfer within the   
company?" I shook my head.  
"I doubt it," I said. "As it is now, I feel drained… Ah well, it's been a good   
time and I've felt at home ever since my first year. I just…" I trailed off to squeeze   
my eyes shut and massage the bridge of my nose, suddenly feeling tired. The   
weekend's activities must have taken a bigger toll than I thought. I looked at Tifa and   
Rennes and smiled apologetically. "I just don't know," I said. "This is home after   
all…" Rennes put a hand on my arm.  
"You don't have to decide right now," she said softly. "It can wait."   
"Thanks." I smiled at her and nodded. "I have to think about it. I will." After   
a brief pause I gathered my box and Masamune up into my arms and nodded farewell   
to them.  
"I'll see you tomorrow then."  
"See you."   
"Bye bye."  
  
Water from the sudden rainstorm splashed up along my shins and the sour wind   
burned my ears as I ran out onto the drill grounds to catch the coach back into the   
city center. The rain wept on the windows in long, persistent trails and grey clouds   
muted the afternoon, but it was as if the bad weather lacked real teeth and knew that   
it would soon turn to the smothering heat of summer. Spring rain, it had turned spring   
already. 


End file.
